[	Current Mood	|	great night!	]
[	Current Music	|	Jouney: "wow, you have a good singing voice" sure	]

I was told that there's a story, but I don't want to hear it told, as I care not about this situation past its direct involvement in my life. For some reason I am always either the intended source of or destination for this information.

dot dot dot ... except my morbid curiosity froths with lust for this privileged information, as does my largely fruitless desire for truth and resolution. Once these these subside, I'll return once again to indifference. I predict this will occur by tomorrow morning. Goodnight.

P.S. Tonight was a blast! Sean Courtney apologizes to Maureen, although his excuse was weak at best. Also, I think my comment tonight may be of some significance: "That's why it says 'Break glass in case of fire' and not 'Unbutton awkward button fly in case of fire'"

[	Current Mood	|	SO AWAKE	]
[	Current Music	|	Politician (Cream)	]

Stress is a funny thing. Stress is quite literally comical to me. For us, privileged youth attending a university generally on our parents' dime, there is very little to be stressed about. So many stressful situations are either fabrication and fantasy or easily avoided with mature decisions. Hell, what am I talking about, intelligent decisions. I believe I'll never know regret for the times when I trust my own judgment, not rationalizations, and certainly not what others think. Other people's opinions are valuable as chances, even if for a brief moment, to see yourself critiqued from another perspective. They should never be the rule by which to live because it is impossible to please everyone. If you act true to yourself, then the people who appreciate you for who you are will certainly understand. I guess that stems from my belief that there is a moral core in everyone. I don't mean moral like religious, and I would have used a different term but I can't think of a better one so this entry may have a pending edit. I mean the constant counterpoint that challenges the way we live our lives, something that allows us to always look at a situation and see what shade of gray is involved. Most people know it exists, some can hear it, and a few even listen to it.

"How's that for a little bit of home-spun philosophy?" - Rear Window

Stress is certainly real and it has real effects, but I believe that most people bring it upon themselves. I would give the example of the student, and everyone here knows one, that spends so much time on their school work that it consumes their lives. They always seem to have so much work to do, and I can't figure it out. I know very well that the little work I have to do would not take much of my time. I could have done it instead of writing in this stupid online journal. My decision to do less than the normal amount of work is bad, but this kind of obsession of which I speak is a waste of a few of the most valuable years. I am being a bit of an asshole here, because I can pick up things very easily and it takes me less time to do them than it takes most people, yet I decide not to put forth even that effort and then I poke fun at the people who really work at it. But then again, is it that much more honorable to shelter oneself (escape from life's challenges, which cannot be overcome with trigonometric identities or more research) in a mountain of never ending work and stroll into adulthood with a slightly more decorated piece of paper? Look kid, maybe you weren't supposed to be a rocket scientist.

That may have been a good example of the rationalization I use to avoid putting effort into schoolwork. See it is a bit ridiculous, because I try to say there that if I do any more work than I do now, then life will pass me by. I am getting better, thankfully, but it's a slow process and my parents are expecting me to be a born-again bookworm by the end of the semester, and with the grades to go along with it. This will be fun. Again.

There! See, the biggest stress I have is self-imposed and can be easily corrected, and in the interest of self-improvement I am trying to correct it. I'm a political man, baby, and I practice what I preach.

cizoozic: thank you and goodnight
bund le HISS: hahaha
bund le HISS: amen
bund le HISS: hallelujah
bund le HISS: praise the lord
bund le HISS: GET DOWN
bund le HISS: -james brown

[	Current Mood	|	lighthouse keeping	]
[	Current Music	|	Cream - Tales of Brave Ulysses	]

A guy could really learn a lot from a weekend like that one.

We'll start on Saturday because, well, I guess that's the night I want to write about. Sit down and listen.

Lindsay is 20 mother loving years old, so that makes two of them between her and Mike. Kyle is actually 21 let's not forget. Her parents took us all out to Outback Steak House for a birthday dinner. Let me step back to clarify us. "Us" means Lindsay, Kyle, me, Dan, Mike, Maureen, Laura, and John. That was one crazy round table of insanity and Outback Specials. I think our group dynamic quite impressed her parents, but I know it impressed me. "Out to dinner" was a new venue for us to be our crazy fun selves, but it was also a place where we are expected to act as adults. I'm pretty sure that only heightened the hysteria. Outback should have called in the TV cameras for a new commercial in the vein of "If you eat here, you will have as much fun as these people. No Rules, Just Right." Cue pan flute riff. Lindsay's parents got all sentimental in the car on the way home, how cute.

We had a party thing at the Plata after flailing about in the darkened dorm room for some time. I remember... to some degree... sitting perched atop the crow's nest that is maureen's bed for a bird's eye view, if you will, of everyone in the room. If this isn't creeping you out yet, well there's still time. Anyway I got a strong sense that I got lucky ending up on the 6th floor of Denton last year, because we've all made the decision to remain friends past the "floormates" stage. If you're going to have drinking buddies, why not make them actual friends and not beer sluts! I just knew that the booze wasn't the first priority for the gathering and it was a nice feeling. You know, we enjoy each other and watch out for one another, and that's all it takes. Once you know that people care about you enough to want what's best for you, you can open up to them for advice or just a listening ear. We're crazy, fun, clever, and hilarious, (and so modest) but those things don't count compared to knowing that you're a knight of the platonic round table. It might be more of a core and orbit thing actually, but we've discussed that. So much of this is a better Great Cement Steps of Maryland discussion than a livejournal ramble, and in fact a lot of it was part of our first grand experiment in solving life's mysteries while sprawled across the steps of the Administration Building. Isn't that college like the brochure pictures!

So yeah, I wrote some of that after I got back Saturday night, but I'm not going to censor what I wrote in that state because I'm not embarrassed by it.

[	Current Mood	|	satisfied	]
[	Current Music	|	mine	]

A wonderful circumstance of the cynic's point of view is that in expecting the worst and the lowest of the low, one is always proven right or pleasantly surprised.

I'm off to sleep. I need my rest for the night, as I will be seizing this coming day and those it preceeds.

...still my guitar gently weeps

[	Current Mood	|	Why do we do the things we do?	]
[	Current Music	|	Led Zeppelin - Fool in the Rain	]

Livejournal, we are still not cool as of now. As usual I could be asleep. Fool in the Rain is sad but cute, and I like it. It even has a somewhat happy ending. For those of you that keep up with the musical times and haven't the time for that music your dad listens to, Fool In The Rain is all about this poor guy waiting on a rainy street for his gal, and when she doesn't show up he works himself into a frenzy. "Another ten minutes, no longer and then I'm turnin' around, 'round." Well the song ends like this:

The thoughts of a fool's kinda careless
I'm just a fool waitin' on the wrong block

My dream job scenario: 1. I get rich as part of a band, but I'm not the front man or anything. I'm basically just along for the ride. (Alternate for part one: stay in school, EE can be rather lucrative, especially if you know where to go.) 2. Use that money for studio time or, fuck it, my own studio. 3. Free range learning, playing, forging, obsessing over... music 4. Release something to the world. I was looking for the quote in High Fidelity where John Cusack's girlfriend tells him that he, the critic, could contribute something (be it good, bad, or insignificant) to that world of music and then become part of it. I found this instead: "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" Although a bit intense, I agree. I used to literally tear up during Tears in Heaven. Radiohead's "Black Star" is tragic, and I never realized it (really Radiohead in general is pretty depressing. Don't listen to the lyrics, or Radiohead for that matter - Whatever bakes your biscuit.). "I get on the train and I just stand about now that I don't think of you." are the words of a broken man! There are much worse than freakin Radiohead's, that's just a recent discovery of mine. Whatever, I just thought it relates after that little bout with Fool in the Rain. I'm so watching High Fidelity when I get back to College Park tomorrow.

For a long time I've been what I like to call a "vault." This means nothing in, nothing out. It protects its contents and hides them from the outside world. For god's sake, don't say anything that could let people pin you down as __. If someone finds out you're __, they'll probably think less of you. If they figure out now that you feel __, then there's no way you can ever escape it. Unfortunately a vault has nothing to hold on to except the handle, and chances are the handle is locked because it's a fucking vault. side note: If I've misinterpreted Fool In The Rain, please don't tell me.

I hate the vault now. Break it.

[	Current Mood	|	cold? me? the snowboarder?	]
[	Current Music	|	Led Zeppelin - Rock and Roll	]

It's been a long time since I rock and rolled
It's been a long time since I did the stroll
Ooh, let me get back, let me get back, let me get back
Baby, where I come from
It's been a long time, been a long time
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time
Yes it has.

Oh Livejournal, why do we always meet under these circumstances? It's 5am. Also, there was no reason to delete my entry so I had to type it all over again... I didn't even want to write an entry tonight but I thought you would appreciate it. Fucking passive-agressive livejournal taking me up a peg and knocking me down two. One more false move and I'm running away with that cute Blogger.com and never looking back. Blogger would appreciate me, and I bet I could get a custom layout out of the deal too.

Every sane person (and my friends too) is asleep. I'm talking in the range of hours worth of head starts on me. I'm cold sitting here, too. I'm never cold. Is this what it's like to be cold? I don't like it one bit. I could never do this. It would be nice to be under a thick denim conforter like the one lofted above this very desk. I guess I'm under it now technically, but why split hairs?

You know, it would be a good ol fashioned "damn shame" if this guy fucking around with his livejournal background and playing guitar through headphones at 5am had to get up early. Imagine if his parents might be there at 10am the next morning. One could also see how this same guy could have promised like 300 things for that next day. This is how obligations and promises get broken. This is how he ends up missing out on making nice-ish sounds with electrical instruments in the basement of the CCC. Yes, it's easy to imagine a scenario in which this same guy will habitually neglect responsibilities for this kind of thing, all for those few hours whenever he can score them, only to find himself missing out as he plays catch-up for all the piled up shit he's pushed aside. It's easy to imagine that. It's too easy. The fun will be in avoiding that reality.

Zach Utz. Yes you. If you're reading this, then you need to know that the oftentimes questionable wisdom of the shuffle button has led me to a little homemade mp3 you so carelessly named "Track 2." Having heard it, I do believe I can go to sleep now. You are a saint.

I'm not setting my alarm. Ok I might set my alarm. But I might not. I'm crazy like that. You never know what I'm going to do. I'm just so spontaneous.

[

Current Mood

|

working

]

There is no way I'm analyzing a list of songs tonight. Just thought I should toss that one out there.

Last year's halloween costume was really my best ever, you can get all the juicy details if you like. We pulled off the Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas gig pretty well, and it was a hell of a lot of fun. Getting the costumes together was a hairy affair (quite literally, so it happens, because we had to cut Mike's Gonzo-hair from a really long black wig). I don't know what I could possibly do this year to top that. When I try to come up with new ideas, the only ones that compare are really just offensive and that's why they're good. Raul Duke was so much more than just offensive.

The hits keep coming for this Facebook joint, as they've secured the actual facebook.com name, spruced up their layout, and now there is a great little photo album feature. The best part about this is that you can specify who is in the picture, and use that information to search to see, for instance, how many pictures they're in. One can now search a person's name and see pictures of them from a multitude of photo albums, but without all the annoying, repetitive pictures of their friends hugging for the camera. One giant leap for stalkerkind comes from the ability to look at a picture in someone's photo album, browse through the list of people in the picture (a box lights up around the person in the picture when you select their name) and go directly to their facebook profile. Be very afraid!

HobosAmMich: I got head! this afternoon!
HobosAmMich: from some guy at the music shop, only cost me $28

[	Current Mood	|	restless	]
[	Current Music	|	Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love	]

• Dec 2^nd-4^th Killington, VT
• Dec 27^th - Jan 4^th Quebec New Years Trip. Shit, the drinking age is 18 up there. A little bit less awesome but substantially creepier is the age of consent, which happens to be 14. Thanks but no thanks Canada, you can keep your 14-year-olds. The creepy part comes when people on the trip bring this up... more than once. I can't wait to hit the sushi/sake bar and do jager bombs with Wu in that crazy ass three story club. Last time the club had Metallica and Foo Fighters cover bands if I recall. Did I mention the mountains? Sweet zombie jesus, I would be most excited for this if it weren't for...
• Jan 16^th-23^rd Jackson Hole, WY. Yeah, I've never been anywhere this huge slash awesome slash incredible slash bootylicious. I don't even know how it could be bootylicious but it probably is because it's fucking Jackson Hole.
• Spring Break Trip?
• Of course tons of trips to the local joints for some more riding ice skating down the mountains hills
• Maybe another Killington weekend to finish off the season